HARRISON FORD TAKES NO PRISONERS OVER THE LAST BAGEL
Actor Harrison Ford went off on a rampage last Sunday morning when he found out his coworker; Jeremy Sternmyer, took the last multigrain bagel.
Harrison is apparently a massive fan of bagels (especially multigrain). Jeremy claimed he “was hungry” and couldn’t help himself.
When Harrison finished filming a brutal fight scene on set and went over to the snack table, he immediately became enraged.
Harrison started screaming and yelling “Who took the last multigrain bagel? Who ate it?”
Everyone became confused and thought Harrison was kidding until Jeremy stepped up and explained the situation.
Eyewitnesses report Jeremy saying: “Mr. Ford, I’m really sorry dude. I haven’t eaten since 6 PM yesterday and that bagel was delish-“
As soon as Jeremy said “delish”, Harrison took his dominant right hand and smashed it against Jeremy’s face. Jeremy collapsed to the floor and Harrison jumped on top of him, bombarding poor Jeremy with clubbing blows.
Harrison threw 25 punches at Jeremy and landed 7 elbow shots on him as well.
It took 10 security guards (all ranging from 6 feet 3 inches to 7 feet 1 inch). Harrison started hitting the guards as well but due to a studio contract, no one on set is allowed to “hurt or injure” Mr. Harrison Ford.
Jeremy Sternmyer was sent to the hospital and received 48 stiches on his face. Later on, it was reported that Harrison was enjoying a nice bagel lunch at the local bakery that was 2 blocks away from the set. This was happening as Jeremy was getting fixed up in the hospital.
When asked about it later, Harrison said “What? Are you serious? Jeremy and I were just play fighting. Of course, he can eat the last multigrain bagel. I’m not an asshole.”
Harrison has repeatedly denied any ill-will on Jeremy and said he was shocked that Jeremy was rushed to the hospital and received stitches.
Filming will resume in 2 days.